Hey, hi yea. It’s me.
I can’t believe we’re here, I hate that we are, but no amount of self- judgement will make you go away any faster.
So I’m calling on my good friend self-compassion and closing this chapter once and for all.
HERE WE GO…
At some point in my life, I can’t even remember when, you wrote a romance between me and you. You managed to find my deepest weakness and I guess I can no longer be shy to admit this, but it’s always been you.
You know exactly what to say to pull me in. You seem to be able to convince me that I need you. You promise you’ll be good to me and for me. That you love and care about me. You promise I’ll be better with you, that I won’t be able to function without you. But what I can’t seem to figure out is why do I listen, when I know they’re all promises you’re gonna break?
You’re a sweet talker. You make me believe every lie that you spew. You wrap me into this cycle, with your really high highs, so that I chase this deep twisted craving of you. You assure me again and again that I can’t replace you, so I eventually start to think, what’s the point? That just one more moment with you will be better than a life spent without you.
What’s wild to me is how I really do know that I deserve more. I know I’m so much better than you. I know I’ll always be the best you ever had and you’ll always be the worst I’ve ever been with, yet it’s like the second I see your name on my phone I turn to liquid and whatever you say goes.
Then suddenly we’re back together again.
But self-doubt, for real. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.
I have a daughter to mold and raise. A daughter to instill self-worth and self-respect in. A daughter who needs to witness her mom standing firm in her power, connected to herself, not putting up with anything less than she deserves. A daughter who needs to see self-love in its purest and truest form.
I know you’ve told me otherwise time and time again, but it isn’t where I am or what I am that’s holding me back. It’s all that you’ve convinced me I’m not capable of.
I’m done allowing you to limit me. My value does not decrease, because of your inability to see all that I am.
I AM RARE.
I AM POWERFUL.
I AM MAGNETIC.
And not only are those just a few of my amazing qualities, but me being me alone is enough.
You kid, are just a worthless piece of shit.