How to Get Unstuck and Stay There: Part II

December 12, 2018


Welcome back, babe!

You have your Big MOFA, so now you want to get unstuck, right? (If you have no idea WTF I’m talking about, read Part I of this blog first!)

Your Big MOFA (or big motivating factor) is the first step to getting unstuck. It will help you start to break the cycle of self-doubt, self-judgment, or whatever is holding you back from living the life you want. Trust me, I know because I’ve been there.

Now we get unstuck.

Here’s the best and worst part about getting unstuck: you’re in control, and you get to hold yourself accountable. Once you find your big MOFA, it’s crucial that you make choices that align with it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Figure out what is holding you back and break those habits you’re so fucking used to. I can tell you how, but I certainly can’t do it for you. I’m there to support my clients, hold them accountable and instill a system that makes it easier for them to achieve their goals, but I can’t and never will be able to do that work for them. No one can do it for you and get you truly unstuck, except for YOU.

See a common theme yet? I’ll keep going.

It all depends on how hard you want to work. Some girls come to me saying they’ve never been more ready, but then they don’t do it. I never judge or get mad if my client doesn’t accomplish something; rather, I shift the focus onto WHY it didn’t happen. Again, you can’t do anything about your “what” unless you know your “why”, in any situation.

I actually relate to these girls the most, because that’s exactly how I was. I would show up to my sessions with a defensive mindset, without having done anything I was supposed to do. Naturally, I didn’t make any changes that actually stuck. But then I hit a point where it all shifted. I actually became ready to own MY part in it all, and I was ready to do the dirty work.

It takes self-awareness. It takes honesty. The ones who come out of the 8-week program and are like, “holy shit, I’ve made real progress,” are the ones who actually do everything we set out to do together. Getting unstuck only works for those who are ready to own their shit and turn it around. It’s the shift in perspective that allows you to admit that you were the one that got yourself here, now you’re the one who’s going to get yourself out.

That’s the work I live for.

Change is completely rooted in you. That’s why your goals have to be rooted in you, too.

Stay unstuck.

Disclaimer: it’s not going to be easy. If getting unstuck is hard, I’ll be honest, staying unstuck is even harder. You’re going to have great days, but you’re also going to have really bad days too, and it’s SO important to acknowledge both.

I love to think of this one specific image:

Picture that above your head is your own personal sky. There are days when the sky is totally blue, there are days when it’s overcast and there are days when there’s just a monster thunderstorm. But guess what? You’re in control of how soaked you get by that storm. You can let it downpour and flood your life, or you can throw on a parka, pop open your biggest fucking umbrella and take it head on. Thunderstorms are always temporary, so do yourself a favor and remember that the blue sky is still there, just waiting to pop back out.

If you’re not into the metaphor thing, I’ll put it to you this way. It’s really easy to get stuck in our heads and distracted by negative thoughts or horrible self-doubt. We think the best thing to do is try to push down all the bad feelings we have and force them to go away. But the reality is, if you’re thinking to yourself, “I can’t have negative thoughts,” then it’s all you’ll end up thinking about! Feelings are passengers. Let them ride.

So, take the bad with the good. I literally sometimes have to say to myself, “thank you so much, negative thoughts, I appreciate you coming into my head to protect me from whatever you feel I need protection from, but I actually don’t need you. I’m good.”

At the end of the day, nothing external will ever make you feel like you’re enough. It has to come from YOU. You’re the only one who can fill your cup. You’re the person who needs to show up. So step up.

xx, Jacq


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